Posts Tagged ‘sacramento real estate’

If Chuck Norris were a Real Estate Agent

May 17, 2010 1 comment

I remember when I was kid, I used to go to 7-11 every month to buy the latest copy of Black Belt Magazine so I could learn the ways of becoming a ninja.  Inside of it, there was always this cool ad of Chuck Norris wearing his “special” jeans that stretched in the crotch area, so he could kick arse, even when all dressed up.  I remember thinking, “Man, if I could just get some of those jeans, I could kick arse too … like Chuck.”  But I was always saddened because the truth of the matter was that I didn’t know how to kick, I didn’t know how to punch, heck, I hadn’t even stood outside of a real karate class with saddened eyes in hopes of one day entering because my grandmother (who raised me) thought I would get hurt.

So now that I’m all grown up, and can make decisions for myself, I thought, “You know what?  I’m gonna get me a pair of those Norris action jeans.”  Unfortunately, they don’t make them anymore.  But you know what?  I realized I don’t need his action jeans to kick some butt out there in the world anymore.  All I need is his attitude, perhaps his beard, and nothing will get in my way.  So I thought, “What if Chuck Norris were a Real Estate Agent?  What would he do?

Chuck Norris will base the value of your home by how much is left standing after he kicks it.

Chuck Norris once scared a house out  of escrow.

Chuck Norris doesn’t drive clients to see houses on the market … he throws them there.

When Chuck Norris got his real estate license … 200 homes simultaneously passed out.

Chuck Norris held an open house once … held it over his head for 4 hours.

On Chuck Norris’ real estate website, there is only one house for sale … the one that Chuck Norris allows you to buy.

Chuck Norris popped the housing market bubble … with a toothpick.

Thanks for your inspiration Chuck Norris.  If you could just teach me that escrow scare tactic, I’d be complete.


Ye Ol’ Rental Scam

Hello dear reader.  Do you mind if I call you “dear reader”?  Or is it too … chummy?  Too … affectionate?  Fine.  Hey reader … Hi.

If you didn’t know already, and the huge Photoshop’d headshot over there to the right floating over the LOUD red LYON Real Estate logo didn’t tip you off, I’m a real estate agent. So as real estate agents do, we take clients out to look at houses … houses of all shapes, all sizes, all colors.  You name it, it’s out there, and if you wanna see it, we’ll show it to you. (Speaking for myself)

This evening, I took a client out to see a few houses.  The last house we visited was a quaint two bedroom in a great little neighborhood.   As we approached the front door, there was a notice posted in the window.  Usually this might be a foreclosure notice or even a “Swimming pool being monitored by Mosquito & Vector Control” notice.   But as we got closer, I started to read the posted paper.  It was one that I had not seen before. It read …

THIS HOUSE IS NOT FOR RENT! If you are responding to an ad you saw on Craigslist IT IS A SCAM! If you lost money, we are not responsible.   Only a Realtor can enter this house, anybody else is not allowed and it is illegal”.  Or something very similar to that, come on, I’m paraphrasing.

Apparently with the economy the way it is and so many vacant houses out there, the double-crossers have seen the opportunity and jumped on it.   So the question is, how can a potential renter or a homeowner protect themselves against these swindler types?  Well I’ve done some digging around dear rea-, I mean … reader, and came across a website that gives some answers.   [See below]   Hopefully with these tips, you or someone you know won’t fall victim as some unfortunate people already have.

Have you or anybody you know been “rental scammed”?  If so, please share in the comment section below.  Please feel free to Share this.

Headshot at Harris Studio

April 20, 2010 Leave a comment